The wrong tool - Artwork by str4yk1tt3n
Want to give Hermione a run for her money in the know-it-all field? Simply play the quiz by commenting on this post with your answers at any time over the weekend. All comments with answers will be screened until the answer sheet is posted on Monday morning EST. On Monday, all quizzlings with the correct answers will receive a pretty banner to prove their quiz prowess. Ready? Set? Play!
Match the quotes to the story titles without picking the red herring titles:
Who Are You? by firefly124
Crouching Doctor, Hidden Basilisk by mundungus42 (Tenth Doctor, Snape, and Hermione - We like to think of it as pre-SSHG.)
An Excursion Across Time by Songswald (Eleventh Doctor, Hermione - GEN)
Coincidences? by dreamy_dragon73
Embracing Fate by mdseiran (Doctor, Snape - GEN)
Worlds Enough, and Time by shefa
Eternal by Shellysbees (Tenth Doctor, Hermione - GEN)
Five Years Ago by stliteaphrodite
No Favours Has He by kribu
Uneven Steps by Settiai (Fifth Doctor, Snape - GEN)
Out Of Time by dacian_goddess
Room By Room by averygoodun
1. The door of the wooden blue box opened and a thin, dark-haired man stepped out. Hermione took a look at his face and nearly gasped. Suddenly feeling very sober, she swiftly took out her wand and cast a non-verbal Stupefy. There was a flash of red light, and just as he had begun to say, 'SevÑ' the man keeled over.
'What did you do that for?' The woman who had followed the stranger snarled at Hermione before she crouched down at his side. 'Doctor? Are you all right?' she asked.
'He's a Death Eater,' Hermione said. 'I'd recognise his face anywhere.'
'No, he's not.' Severus sounded rather sober again as well. 'He isn't even a wizard. I thought the same when I first met him, though.'
Hermione turned to Severus. 'You two have met before?'
'It's a long story,' he said.
'Oi!' The red-haired woman interrupted. 'If you two have quite finished, here's someone who could do with a bit of help. Unless you plan to do something dodgy to him again.' She eyed Hermione suspiciously.
'No. I'm sorry. I thought he was someone else.' Hermione crouched next to the woman and pointed her wand at the stranger again. 'I'm just going to wake him up. It won't hurt him,' she explained before she cast Ennervate.
Opening his eyes, the man sat up. He blinked a few times and rubbed his hand through his dark hair. 'Nice reflexes,' he said, looking at Hermione.
2. “Is there anything else I need to know before we go?”
He’d filled her in as best he could, but who knew which version they’d encounter, if they could find him at all. Even if they did, who knew if he could or would help?
“I think you have the main bits down,” he said. It had taken the better part of the evening. Years of adventures soaked up in front of his tiny black and white telly had poured out of him. Hours and hours of joy in the midst of the grimness all around. It had been a very long time since he’d thought of those days, but there had been a time when those memories sustained him—held him—when it was hard to believe that there was any good magic in the world left or any heroes to use it.
The hearth was blazing, flames spitting red and orange sparks, as if it was eager for them to move on. Severus unstoppered the bottle and passed it under his nose. It smelled like Floo powder even if it was blue. He poured a bit onto his fingertips and rubbed them together. It had the texture of Floo powder.
“Should we both take some?” Hermione asked.
“Couldn’t hurt,” he said, pouring a handful into her palm and then into his. Pausing for a moment, he tucked the bottle into his robes.
“Ready?” she whispered.
He nodded. Together they flung the powder into the flames. The fire glowed blue, deep as the twilit sky.
“The Doctor,” said Severus, loudly and clearly.
“The Doctor,” echoed Hermione, and they stepped into the fire side by side.
3. "I would never have pictured this as your room," she said, trying to make light conversation. It backfired, as his frown grew darker. "Not that it doesn't fit you," she amended quickly. "It's just so..."
"Light?" he finished for her with a snide tone. She had obviously hit a sensitive spot.
"Modern was the word I was going to use, though, yes, it is quite light as well. It sort of reminds me of old Doctor Who episodes with all those circles."
Hermione was surprised to see Severus actually squirm as color rose to his cheeks. She blinked.
"Are you a Doctor Who fan?" she asked with incredulity.
His blush grew deeper, as did his scowl. Even so, Hermione couldn't help the delighted laugh that escaped her.
"Oh, perfect!" she cried. "And is that where you got the idea of a frock coat?"
He stood up suddenly and loomed in front of her. She tried to stop her giggling, but all she could think of was that he even resembled a couple of the Doctors a little bit, especially the first one — including his personality. That thought sent her into gales of laughter.
"And am I," she choked out, laughing so hard it was becoming difficult to breathe, "your plucky young companion or Susan?"
She felt his spell coming and had a shield up by the time it hit.
4. A piercing blue light, accompanied by a strange sound, briefly circles the room before coming to rest on him. He doesn't flinch, doesn't move a muscle; the light is tiny, and maybe whoever is looking hasn't seen him yet. But the footsteps approach and before long he can see the silhouette of whoever belongs with them. The figure is tall and lean and holding something that looks like a wand casting lumos, and he can't understand why the sight strikes fear in him. The wand moves off him to a pile of wood to his right, and suddenly there is light and warmth and he realizes how long he's been shivering.
The man moves to sit next to him and for a while no one speaks, and he imagines how long they could sit like this and stave off the inevitable. But you can't escape fate, he has always believed this, and it is the reason that makes him break the quiet. He asks, "Who sent you?" and thinks it would have sounded better if his teeth hadn't been chattering. He sounds afraid, and showing fear to people such as his associates is the worst thing he could ever do.
"No one sent me, I promise." The stranger promises, like so many people. I promise not to hurt you, I promise to give you glory, I promise to forever be your friend, all of them broken, so that when he hears the word 'promise' he instantly mistrusts the speaker. And yet he finds himself believing the words, believing without understanding when the stranger adds, "She felt drawn to you, and I'm starting to see why. I'm the Doctor, by the way." The man, the Doctor, stands up then and offers his hand, but he doesn't take it. He relies on himself in everything, always does, because asking for help is showing weakness and relying on others is just as bad. The Doctor waits patiently while he brushes the dust off his robe and then gestures towards the doorway where a blue box stands. It is labeled 'police' and for a moment he wants to laugh hysterically at the thought that both worlds are now after him. But the Doctor only unlocks the door and ushers him inside.
5. While Hermione had only known about the wizarding world for a little over two years, she had known that this man must be doing magic. Things didn’t just appear out of thin air in the muggle world. So she had proceeded to quietly open her window and climb out in order to apprehend this man. Not only was he doing magic out in the open where any random muggle could see him, but she had also never seen a wand made of metal and was unable to contain her curiosity.
So there she stands, in front of this odd man and his odd dog.
“What?” the man replies to her earlier question, his brow creasing and his fingers tapping against this leg in a nervous tick.
“A wizard,” she repeats, “I know you must be. No one can just make a police box appear out of nowhere. Although I’ve never seen a wand quite like yours. All the ones I’ve seen are made of wood. Mine’s vine wood. I bet you didn’t get that one from Olivander’s, did you? Oh and I’m Hermione Granger by the way.”
“Right. You’re a witch. No, this isn’t a wand and no I didn’t get it from… Olivander’s. And I haven’t time to explain right now. In fact I don’t have time to be telling you I don’t have time. So if you don’t mind I’ll just be off.” He reaches for the door to the police box.
“Wait a second; you can’t just be off like that. You know it’s illegal to do magic where muggles can easily see you. You’ll risk exposing our entire world.”
The man turns to her with a look of exasperation. “Of course. Illegal. Well don’t worry about me, I’ll reprimand myself. Now off you go. Back to bed.”
“If you think I’m about to let you just leave, you’re crazy.”
The man looks around, his fingers still drumming. He shifts his weight and it’s like he can never keep still. “Fine. Get in the box.”
6. The first thing they saw when they stepped out of the T.A.R.D.I.S. was a tall, lopsided cottage. The Doctor raced ahead, calling back behind him for Martha to follow. She was busy staring in awe.
It didn’t seem as though the building were structurally sound, not in the least, and she couldn’t quite put a finger on where but she knew that she’d seen it somewhere.
“Doctor,” She started, following him through the dry field towards the building. “Where are-”
She cut him a glare but was quiet all the same as they snuck up to a side window. The window led into a kitchen of sorts, but everything seemed odd, almost fantastical. Martha was almost certain she had seen a pair of needles knitting a scarf in mid air.
“Where are we?” Martha hissed again, almost afraid to believe what she was seeing, but before The Doctor could answer a small voice coughed from behind them.
They both whirled around quickly, coming face to face with a young, rather familiar looking, brown haired woman looking rather cross with a wand pointed directly at them
“Excuse me,” she said irritably. “But what are you doing?”
“No!” Martha gasped, looking absolutely astonished.
He shushed her again before looking back to Hermione and offering her a hand.
“My name is The Doctor, and you’re Hermione Granger, yes?”
7. Sev sighed and let his gaze drop to the ground. He shouldn't be surprised. Nothing he did ever went as planned.
He pulled his coat around him and started toward the gate himself. There wasn't any point in staying. He'd ruined any chance he might have had at impressing Lily.
"Are you sure you want to leave? She might come back."
Sev let out a startled yelp at the unfamiliar voice, instantly looking up. Two men were standing right outside the playground's gate, both of them looking at him. He assumed that the older of the two, a blonde man wearing a cricketer's uniform, was the one who had spoken, considering the way his eyes were twinkling.
"I don't know you," Sev said, eyeing both of them warily. It was obvious that the younger of the two was a Muggle, based on his school uniform, but he wasn't certain about the other. There was something about the blonde man's eyes that made Sev think the stranger was more than he appeared.
The blonde man smiled. "No, I suppose you don't," he said gently. "I'm the Doctor, and this is Turlough."
Sev didn't reply, still moving his gaze uncertainly between the two of them.
After a few seconds passed, Turlough rolled his eyes. "He doesn't change much," he muttered, flinching a bit when he saw the warning look the Doctor suddenly aimed at him.
"I don't know you," Sev repeated, not even trying to hide the suspicion in his voice. He tensed slightly, prepared to run if needed.
The Doctor sighed. "It's a long story," he said, meeting Sev's gaze head-on. "And one that we really don't have time to go into right now."
As Sev stared at the Doctor, suddenly wondering if the man was completely sane, Turlough snorted. "Tegan was right," he grumbled, shaking his head. "All these years, and you still haven't learned anything about humans."
8. Isolated from the world, from the merest second thought, from any sort of attention, the Shrieking Shack stood still, cold sentry to the day’s tumult.
Tonight, not for the first time and far from the last, the ramshackle building and everything about it were forgotten. Tomorrow, they might be elevated to an afterthought. The day after, that thought might become a persistent hum, steadily dismissed as a niggle. Within a week’s time, someone would even work up the courage to beg off yet another deluge of attention and amble over to the Whomping Willow in search of a single moment alone.
That would not be tonight.
It was the dead of night. The world lay on the cusp of its new beginning, under a blanket of unbroken quiet. In the tunnels under the Whomping Willow, sinuous shadows seemed to thicken. With an inaudible, electrifying crackle, the dark itself gave an almighty shudder. Floorboards creaked. Heavy particles of dust stirred up reluctantly, engaging in a lazy dance high in the still air. The shadows shuddered once again, more convincingly.
An extraordinarily bright glow filled the dingy Shrieking Shack. The air glimmered. Commanded by this golden light, the still, stiff body of Severus Snape jerked upwards. His limbs splayed wide, as though no longer lifeless; the pose had never looked more unwelcoming.
Suddenly, he erupted. More and more yellow light streamed outwards in a single rapid burst, swiftly replacing his hands and feet and head. More and more, brighter and brighter, it overtook his whole body until all was a single golden torrent of energy and glittering sparks. At last, the man who was Severus Snape drew in one desperate, gulping breath.
9. "Hold on," Snape snapped. "Do you hear that?"
A wheezing, groaning sound filled the air. There was something vaguely familiar about it, although Hermione couldn't quite place it. She checked to make sure her wand was instantly accessible if needed, noticing Snape do the same.
Another crackle from the sky pulled her attention away from the suspicious sound for a moment. There was something... She shook her head. No, whatever it was, it was an illusion. Or a spacecraft—they must have spacecraft in this age.
When she turned again, she nearly collided with a tall man, managing to check her step just before losing her balance. Snape caught her arm to ensure she didn't fall; she gave him a brief smile of thanks and raised her eyes at the stranger. He looked as incongruous with the surroundings as they did. In fact, he'd have looked right at home in their own time. Short dark hair, battered leather jacket, black trousers... She wouldn't have given him a second look in Muggle London of 2004.
And he was absolutely livid.
She instinctively took another step backwards, fighting the wish to grab her wand. They hadn't done anything. The stranger was probably just really pissed off at something or someone else, and they only happened to get in the way. No hexing Muggles, her brain reminded her. Especially not here and now. Not unless it can't be helped.
"Are you the fucking idiots that have been messing with time?" the man demanded, after giving them—and their Muggle clothes—a long look. "Don't even try to deny it. I can see you're not from here, and I don't mean that you're from around the block or from the Midlands or something."
He focused on Hermione. "You. Both of you, but you in particular. You've been around a bit, haven't you? I can sense it. Time travellers. I can always tell."
10. Severus sipped his morning tea and tried not to imagine what sort of madness the day would bring.
Despite Severus Snape’s formidable and morbid imagination, he sorely underestimated what was to come. He began to appreciate this fact when an eerie mechanical whine pierced the silence of his office. A wind began to blow, and a shadowy form began to take shape. Severus did the sensible thing and ducked under his desk, pulling the visitor’s chair up to the desk so that it hid his presence.
It was odd. One moment the area next the door contained carpet and empty air. The next moment the space was filled with a blue police box. Severus blinked. It was an unusual thing to happen, certainly, but by no means unprecedentedly so.
Seeing a young woman dressed in Muggle clothing step out of the police box was also strange, but again, nothing beyond the pale. She appeared to be in her early twenties and was uncommonly pretty, with creamy brown skin.
She was looking around the room with an expression of wonder on her face. “Doctor?” she called. “I think you made a wrong turn.”
“Impossible,”’ protested a male voice from within. “We’re exactly where I meant us to – oh, hello,” he said, sticking his head through the door frame. Unfortunately, his face was obscured by the girl.
“I know this place,” she said, a tremor in her voice.
“Do you think so?” he asked doubtfully, crossing out of Severus’s range of vision, save for his feet, which were shod in white trainers that were somewhat incongruous with his pinstriped trousers.