20 April 2012 @ 12:17 am
Dialogue Only Quiz  
Telling a story with dialogue only is quite a feat. The author has to make it clear who is speaking at all times and provide enough information to set the scene and establish the relationship without resorting to any narrative passages. When a storyteller can achieve all of that, it's a bit like letting the reader eavesdrop on a private conversation. So grab your Weasley Extendable Ears and have some fun listening in on Severus and Hermione!




Want to give Hermione a run for her money in the know-it-all field? Simply play the quiz by commenting on this post with your answers at any time over the weekend. All comments with answers will be screened until the answer sheet is posted on Monday morning EDT. On Monday, all quizzlings with the correct answers will receive a pretty banner to prove their quiz prowess. Ready? Set? Play!


Match the quotes to the story titles without picking the red herring titles:

The Sponge Bath by JenKM1216 aka remusseverus aka gypsy_morph
A Cauldron of Trouble by herlifeisbroken
Liquid Courage by sshg316
Acting the Goat by sunnythirty3
Unchain My Heart by ozratbag2
Mistletoe by shiv5468
A Simple Suggestion (With Dishonorable Intentions) by Mary
Trapped by Hidden Allusion
On the Receiving End of Self Appointed Cupids by blackaces924
SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN by elise_wanderer
That F---ing Book by miamadwyn
Wedding Night Hassles by alwaysimploding


1. “Severus?”

“Mmm. Yes, dear?”

“That letter looks awfully officious. What’s it about?”

“Here, you take a look at it. I’m not sure I’m seeing correctly. I thought it said I had inherited bloody Aberforth Dumbledore’s bloody goats. I’m going to find my glasses.”

“Don’t bother. You’re not seeing things. You are apparently now the proud owner of a dozen assorted goats. They need to be picked up by next Wednesday.”

“Oh, sweet Merlin’s twisted testicles! What the hell am I going to do with a dozen goats?”

“Stew them?”

“Don’t be crass, Hermione. You know one only uses the youngest, most tender goat meat for cooking.”

“Potions ingredients?”

“Hardly. Goats just aren’t that useful. No magical properties. Although, they may be harbouring a bezoar or two...”

“Now you’re being crass. I was just joking."


2. “What?! Where in the world did he find NyQuil?”

“HERMIONE! Hello, love! Have you come to visit me? The ol’ battleax over there won’t let me go back to my quarters.”

“Are you … is he pouting? And did you just refer to me as ‘love?’”

“But is that not what you are, Hermione? I’m soooo tired, dearest, so tired of keeping my love a secret.”

“Severus. Please stop.”

“Why are you whispering, dear heart? Minerva won’t care, s’long as I stay here. Ol’ battleax.”

“This isn’t funny, Minerva. The man is obviously delirious if he’s professing his love for me.”


3. “What are you looking at me like that for, Miss Granger?”

“Healer Granger. I’m praying to God to give me the strength to keep from throttling you.”

“Are you threatening your patient, Miss Granger?”

“Healer Granger!”

“You don’t have to shout.”

“I’m taking off your shirt now.”

“Do you have to?”

“Yes!”

“And you’re sure you can’t use magic?”

“No! I can’t bloody use magic, you insufferable git! Your hex is still healing! Perhaps I should order tests to make sure your brain wasn’t injured, too!”

“Gryffindors. So easy.”

“You abominable man. I’m taking off your shirt.”

“I’d rather not.”


4. "Professor, I can't find my wand."

"How wonderful! The supposedly smartest witch in Hogwarts has forgotten her wand."

“Sneering isn't going to help the situation.”

“It wasn’t designed to help any situation, Miss Granger.”

“Then shouldn’t you at least do something that is going to help us get out of here?”

“Who says I’m not doing anything?”

"Now that I think about it, where's your wand, Professor?"

“Hm…"

"Well?"

"It's in my lab."

"Hogwarts' Potions master forgot his wand too!"

"Insolent girl."

"Snarky git."


5. “Severus?”

“Mmm?”

“Are you listening?”

“Well, that depends on what you are going to say.”

“I think you need to get over this...problem.”

“And what problem would that be, Hermione?”

“You know! Now stop being obtuse, put the crossword down and talk to me...please.”

“If I knew what the problem was, would I be asking for clarification?”

“Touché, Severus! But you’re avoiding the topic at hand and being your usual self. We both need to deal with this and it isn’t going to go away until we do.”

“Correction, Hermione. You have a problem with ‘this’, whilst I find the whole thing abhorrent and am really not at all interested.”

“How can you say that?”

“Quite easily, my dear. I already have said it on numerous occasions, but you keep badgering me to do it anyway.”

“I do not badger anyone!”

“Yes, Hermione, you do.”


6. "Stop fidgeting!"

"I do not fidget, Miss Granger, and you will kindly remember that I am your Professor."

"Not anymore. Anyway, right now you're not exactly doing a stellar job of getting us out of this situation. And you're fidgeting, which is driving me insane, so I think I'm perfectly entitled to snap at you."

"Snap! Miss Granger, you are nagging."

"I do not nag!"

"You do nag, Miss Granger. In fact, you appear to have a talent for it."

"I do not!"

"You are arguing over an indisputable fact."

"Which is as bad as saying 'do too!' Really, Professor Snape, I would expect more from a Potions Master of your standing."

"You, Miss Granger, are treading on extraordinarily thin ice. You seem to forget the degree of respect owed to a 'Potions Master of my standing.'"

"It's sort of hard to keep the formality when it's pitch black and I can't see thing. Not to mention the fact that your elbow is jammed into my stomach, your nose into the side of my jaw, and you won't stop fidgeting!"

"I do not fidget!"

"We've been here before, Professor."

"Do you ever stop arguing, Miss Granger?"


7. “Professor Snape, why don’t you do something?”

“I am trying, you silly woman.”

“Well, try harder! And don’t call me a silly woman.”

“For heaven’s sake Miss Granger, will you stop bumping into me? I need some space to work.”

“I’m not doing it deliberately. You don’t think Albus…?”

“Of course I do. He wouldn’t settle for simple mistletoe would he? There has to be something extra.”

Wonderful! So we’ll be pulled closer and closer together unless we kiss? Just pucker up will you?”

“I refuse to give in to that old fool’s machinations.”

“Is the though of kissing me that bad? No one is suggesting tongues, Professor, just a quick peck and it will all be over.”


8. “Severus?”

“Professor Snape or Sir, Miss Granger. Now, kindly remove yourself from my fireplace and return to wherever it is you came from.”

“Goodness, but it is dirty in there! My robe is covered in soot.”

“It discourages unwanted visits.”

“Hmm. With that tone of voice, Severus, one might think you’re trying to tell me something.”

“Dear me, and I was afraid I was being too obvious about it.”

“Yes, well, sarcasm won’t get you out of this. At least pretend to be interested in what I have to say.”

“I never did that while you were a student, Miss Granger, and it is unlikely I’ll begin to do so now.”

“Hermione.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hermione. As you just said, I am no longer your student, and it seems only right that you call me by my first name.”

“Miss... Hermione, is there a point to your visit, or are you here out of some sense of revenge? Come to small talk me to death, perhaps? If so, I assure you you’re doing an admirable job.”


9. ”Come now, my dear! Don´t get your knickers in a twist. I thought we were getting along rather well?”

”I can´t hear what you´re saying over the sound of my horrible hideousness.”

”Well, if you´re going to be like that…”

”Pay me a compliment!”

”What?”

”Say something nice!”

”???”

”I´m your wife! You should be able to say something nice about me!”

”I´m sorry, have we met? Severus Snape – dreaded potions master with evil tongue extraordinaire, notoriously mean and proud holder of the broke-the-most-students-record.”

”That´s it. I´m leaving, I tried!”

”Your appearance is not unappealing and your intellect shows potential.”


10. “You’ve got a touch of pride about your Potions skills. And you’ve been known to throw out a few who dared invade your fiefdom.”

“I have never done such a thing.”

“You threw me out. Twice.”

“You’ve been keeping score, have you?”

“What, and you haven’t?”

“I would never throw someone out for humming.”

“Is that what you think provoked me?”

“The first time. Yes. I was humming. And you glared at me. You have a great glare, by the way. And then you said, ‘Miss Granger, kindly remove yourself from these premises at once.’ And you opened the door for me.”

“I did no such thing.”

“You used your wand.”

“Ah, yes. That does sound more like me.”


For more Dialogue Only goodies check out the GrangerSnape100 Dialogue Only Challenge!


 
 
 
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Elise_Wandererelise_wanderer on April 20th, 2012 08:47 am (UTC)
Well, isn't this fascinating. I was sure that you must have emailed me in error, as I had no memory of writing such a piece, and yet, here it is, and I clearly did write it. Thanks for reminding me that I tackled this challenge!
morethansirius: PotterPuff - Snape Loves Hermionemorethansirius on April 23rd, 2012 04:29 pm (UTC)
Hee hee! We love it when we stump an author with their own story!
alwaysimplodingalwaysimploding on April 20th, 2012 10:15 am (UTC)
#1 -- Acting the Goat
#2 -- Liquid Courage
#3 -- The Sponge Bath
#4 -- On the Receiving End of Self Appointed Cupids
#5 -- Unchain my Heart
#6 -- Trapped
#7 -- Mistletoe
#8 -- A Simple Suggestion
#9 -- Wedding Night Hassles
#10 -- Someone´s in the Kitchen

Thanks for having me =) And I had a great time playing!
morethansirius: PotterPuff - Snape Loves Hermionemorethansirius on April 23rd, 2012 04:21 pm (UTC)
Another perfect score for you, my little quizzling! Professor Snape is proud of you even though he won't show it.

http://pics.livejournal.com/morethansirius/pic/0002ktx9
klschmidt1309klschmidt1309 on April 20th, 2012 01:31 pm (UTC)
3 The Sponge Bath by JenKM1216 aka remusseverus aka gypsy_morph
x A Cauldron of Trouble by herlifeisbroken
2 Liquid Courage by sshg316
1 Acting the Goat by sunnythirty3
5 Unchain My Heart by ozratbag2
7 Mistletoe by shiv5468
8 A Simple Suggestion (With Dishonorable Intentions) by Mary
6 Trapped by Hidden Allusion
4 On the Receiving End of Self Appointed Cupids by blackaces924
10 SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN by elise_wanderer
x That F---ing Book by miamadwyn
9 Wedding Night Hassles by alwaysimploding
morethansirius: PotterPuff - Snape Loves Hermionemorethansirius on April 23rd, 2012 04:23 pm (UTC)
There's my little quiz know-it-all! Yep, that's another perfect score for you. Here's your Snape banner.

http://pics.livejournal.com/morethansirius/pic/0002ktx9
Miss Miahmissmiah on April 21st, 2012 01:36 am (UTC)
Is there a link to That F---ing Book by miamadwyn that doesn't go to OWL?

Edited at 2012-04-21 01:36 am (UTC)
morethansiriusmorethansirius on April 21st, 2012 03:00 am (UTC)
Not at the moment, but Mia has said she will post it elsewhere. Only the first two chapters are on grangersnape100. Try OWL early in the day US Eastern time. It often starts acting up in the afternoon for me and is gone by evening EDT. It seems they are rebooting it several times a day.
purple_dolphin9purple_dolphin9 on April 21st, 2012 02:43 am (UTC)
The Sponge Bath by JenKM1216 aka remusseverus aka gypsy_morph - 3
Liquid Courage by sshg316 - 2
Acting the Goat by sunnythirty3 - 1
Unchain My Heart by ozratbag2 -5
Mistletoe by shiv5468 -7
A Simple Suggestion (With Dishonorable Intentions) by Mary -8
Trapped by Hidden Allusion -6
On the Receiving End of Self Appointed Cupids by blackaces924 -4
SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN by elise_wanderer - 10
Wedding Night Hassles by alwaysimploding -9


That F---ing Book by miamadwyn
A Cauldron of Trouble by herlifeisbroken
morethansirius: PotterPuff - Snape Loves Hermionemorethansirius on April 23rd, 2012 04:25 pm (UTC)
Aren't perfect scores fun?! You should know because you just achieved one! Here's your banner to prove you aced the quiz!

http://pics.livejournal.com/morethansirius/pic/0002ktx9
nothingness101nothingness101 on April 21st, 2012 11:07 pm (UTC)
1) Acting the Goat by sunnythirty3
2) Liquid Courage by sshg316
3) The Sponge Bath by JenKM1216
4) On the Receiving End of Self Appointed Cupids by blackaces924
5) Unchain My Heart by ozratbag2
6) Trapped by Hidden Allusion
7) Mistletoe by shiv5468
8) A Simple Suggestion (With Dishonorable Intentions) by Mary
9) Wedding Night Hassles by alwaysimploding
10) SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN by elise_wanderer
Red Herrings:
1) A Cauldron of Trouble by herlifeisbroken
2) That F---ing Book by miamadwyn
morethansirius: PotterPuff - Snape Loves Hermionemorethansirius on April 23rd, 2012 04:26 pm (UTC)
You have all the right answers, my little know-it-all! Way to go! Here's your Snape banner to prove you aced the quiz.

http://pics.livejournal.com/morethansirius/pic/0002ktx9
puzzlegrrlpuzzlegrrl on April 22nd, 2012 05:41 am (UTC)
1 Acting the Goat by sunnythirty3
2 Liquid Courage by sshg316
3 The Sponge Bath by JenKM1216
4 On the Receiving End of Self Appointed Cupids by blackaces924
5 Unchain My Heart by ozratbag2
6 Trapped by Hidden Allusion
7 Mistletoe by shiv5468
8 A Simple Suggestion (With Dishonorable Intentions) by Mary
9 Wedding Night Hassles by alwaysimploding
10 SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN by elise_wanderer
morethansirius: PotterPuff - Snape Loves Hermionemorethansirius on April 23rd, 2012 04:27 pm (UTC)
Don't you just love acing the quiz? Well, you've done it again, my little quizzling! Outstanding work such as that deserves a pretty Snape banner to prove your quiz prowess.

http://pics.livejournal.com/morethansirius/pic/0002ktx9
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )