Valentine's Day means romance and we decided nothing could be more romantic than a marriage proposal. Well, maybe not all the time between these two! The fangirls have spoken in our poll and you want Hermione to propose to Severus. Prepare yourself for some rather interesting proposals!
Since it's a special occasion that makes this a prize quiz. Get ready to play for our SSHG Valentine prize. One lucky fangirl will win on Monday!
Would you like to be our valentine? Simply play the quiz by commenting on this post with your answers at any time over the weekend. All comments with answers will be screened until after the answer sheet is posted on Monday morning EST. On Monday, all quizzlings with the correct answers will be entered into the winner's drawing and one lucky fangirl will win a special SSHG Valentine prize!
Match the quotes to the story titles while avoiding the red herring titles:
Two For the Money by Irena Candy
Blackmail by chivalric55
Once More, With Feeling by Ramos
Making Partner by scatteredlogic
How Hermione Got Her Wizard by leandra713
The Gilded Cage by apollinav
A Law to Herself by shiv5468
Leap Year by eridanus21
Care of Magical Creatures by miamadwyn
Marriage by Numbers by sunnythirty3
Improbable Felicity by subversa
Gifts by annietalbot
1. They didn't have any children, he left everything to his wife when he expired in the arms of a drunken harlot, and when Great-Aunt Gladys died last week she left me the lot."
"Congratulations," he muttered. "I fail to see what this has to do with me, Miss Granger. If you want investment advice, I suggest you talk to Professor Vector. I'm sure there are Arithmancy algorithms that cover all eventualities."
"Read the end of the last paragraph, Sir."
He lowered his eyes to the document again, and read aloud, "... full possession of the principle on her thirtieth birthday, or upon the date of her marriage."
"She was a very conservative woman," Hermione said, sounding slightly bitter about her great aunt's fiscal reservations, "especially after Great-Uncle Henry's peccadilloes."
"Apparently so. Well?"
"You've been a teacher here for about fifteen years, right? My father's second cousin is a teacher too. He teaches math in a Muggle boarding school and he says that the pay is lousy, the staff are a bunch of back stabbers, and the students are bloody-minded idiots."
Snape refolded the document carefully, wishing that his head would stop throbbing, and handed it back to her. "Granted, I see the similarity, but as much as I may sympathize with your father's second cousin, I fail to see your point, Miss Granger."
She leaned forward, a calculating smile on her seventeen-year old lips.
"Professor Snape, how would you like to marry me for my money?"
2. “I have something to discuss with you, Severus,” she said, standing up so she could pace back and forth in front of him.
“Can’t this wait? You are clearly agitated. We can discuss this tomorrow,” he said with finality.
“No. No, I… Did you know that it’s Leap Year this year? And that it is in fact Leap Day today, February 29th?” He nodded. “Are you familiar with any leap year traditions?”
His brow furrowed. “I can’t say I am. Of course, some obscure potions will only work if brewed on Leap Day, but that’s not really tradition. Why? Hermione, you are behaving very oddly.”
Hermione stopped abruptly and stared at him, nervously biting her bottom lip. “In some countries, it is an old tradition that on Leap Day…” She coughed, and fixed her stare on her shoes. She hadn’t felt this nervous since her first day at Hogwarts, standing in line for the Sorting. “That on Leap Day women may propose.” The last part came out as a whisper.
Severus' mouth opened, but no words came out. Hermione fell to her knees in front of him.
“Marry me, Severus. I love you,” she said, willing him to understand the sincerity in her words. “I have loved you since the first time you showed me your collection of first edition books. I don’t have a lot of money or a ring, but I have a lot of books and my heart, and I’ll give you both if you say you’ll marry me.”
Seconds ticked by before Hermione dared to look up at Severus. He was staring at her, his eyes unreadable, his mouth hanging open.
3. “So. In review, you burst into my classroom in a manner that would justify me turning you over to Filch and his thumbscrews, you disarm me—”
“I gave it back!”
“—and ask for my hand in marriage, assuring me I wasn’t your first choice—”
“I wanted you to know I’d considered all the other options!”
“—behind a centenarian and a lunatic—”
“You needn’t take it personally!”
“—and that you are choosing me because I am too old to rut—”
“—and then you think by shedding an artful tear, leaning on my desk to expose a swell of breast—”
She looked down, horrified, and grasped her robe closed.
“—and attempting to arouse my pity by flourishing a death threat in front of my face, you think you can induce me to marry you?”
“Miss Granger—” His voice lowered to a gravelly whisper that sent chills skimming down her back. “—have you quite forgotten to whom you are speaking?”
4. Snape slowly lifted his head and stared at the devil, the dragon, the monster disguised as a relatively harmless looking young woman. "What do you want from me?" he whispered and gulped heavily. "What do you want for destroying those pictures? I will pay any price you name!"
Contentedly, Hermione settled back in her chair and fondly picked up one of the pictures she had made earlier on. Severus had been far too busy with bunnies and eggs to take in his surroundings, and she had, of course, borrowed Harry's Invisibility Cloak, thus being able to get as close to the dark wizard as possible.
Smiling, she let her eyes wander over the photography. Severus was sitting in the grass, leaning against one of the ancient trees, legs stretched out in front of him and eyes closed. On his lap sat a rabbit. He was stroking it absently, an exhausted smile on his lips. It was utterly cute, that picture. It would be his downfall, were ever a student to lay hands on this proof that the feared Potions master was truly, really and entirely human.
"I won't sell them to you," Hermione said earnestly. "For no price in the world. Actually, there is absolutely no legal way for you to get those pictures. By all means, I could give them to the Daily Prophet, and you could do nothing about it."
Snape considered either murdering her or immigrating to a quiet little cell at Azkaban, but then felt too close to fainting to do anything else but just wait for her to deliver the killing stoke. He was certain she wouldn't need too long – at least, she was too impatient to play seek and hide for too long.
Carefully collecting the pictures and putting them together, Hermione continued, "Well, maybe there is one legal way… For example, if you were related to me, you could just order me to hand the pictures over..."
Snape narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about, witch? Only a husband could order his…"
With sparse, precise movements, Snape picked up the newspaper from the floor, folded it, and placed it on the kitchen table. Then, as if having an afterthought, he put his hands on top of it, folded as well. His voice was nearly pleasant when he asked, "Are you proposing to me?"
5. "Professor Snape, I could say it's a pleasure to see you, but…" she gestured airily around his domain with a contemptible look, "well, this isn't a social call."
"It's not? Pity. And I had so been looking forward to tea and biscuits." The chit had the temerity to actually chortle at that. "Just what brings you here then Granger?"
"A business proposition."
Severus' eyebrows rose at that. Business? As far as he knew he had nothing to offer the witch, and certainly nothing to gain from her. He folded his arms across his chest in a display of authority he clearly didn't possess, but it always helped to press one's advantage, and currently the only advantage he had was that people still feared him.
"Well let's hear it then."
Hermione studied the dirty cell and leveled her wand at a wash rag, before Severus could register his protest she impressively transfigured it into a rather plush black leather armchair. Severus muttered 'Show off,' just loud enough for her to hear. For added measure she cast several thorough scourgifies on it. Smart girl. There was no telling what kinds of life had been growing on the rag.
She sat and primly crossed her legs earning a contemptuous snort from her former potions Professor. He took a seat on his thin cot and leveled his eyes at the interloper.
"If you don't mind I'd like to skip the traditional small talk," Severus nodded his assent and she continued, "I'd like to propose marriage."
For several seconds the silence was nearly audible until a loud click came from his clenched jaw.
6. “Hermione,” he began patiently, “I had certain expectations, when the war was over. A happy marriage was not one of them. But neither do I want to spend the rest of my life in poverty and crushing debt.”
“You don’t have to, Severus,” Hermione broke in, not wanting to know what he’d decided.
He smiled regretfully. “Foolish wand waving won’t solve my problems, Hermione.”
She saw him glance at the fire, taking a sip of his whiskey. The flickering light played over his harsh profile, but put glimmers of red and gold in the sheets of black hair. The threads of silver at his temples caught the light as well. At that moment, he looked lonely and withdrawn and quietly resigned to his fate.
“Severus -- Marry me.”
He blinked, then shook his head gently. “You don’t have enough money to pay my debts, Hermione. It’s a lovely offer, my dear, but it would be senseless of you to try.”
Desperate, Hermione grasped her courage with both hands. She stood up, walked over to his chair, and without warning sat down in his lap.
“Hermione,” he protested mildly, though his arms came around her. It was surprisingly comfortable.
7. “Hello,” smiled Hermione, her brown eyes searching his face, her small hand reaching for his.
“Hello,” whispered Severus, taking that hand in both of his, his own eyes desperately seeking some sign of her feelings.
Suddenly, shockingly, she fell to her knees before him, her hand still in his.
“Hermione, what are you doing? Are you ill?” He dropped to his knees as well, reaching for her shoulder. He felt Alberta Grisbane come up behind him and saw Thaddeus Portnoy approach Hermione from behind.
Eyes never leaving his, Hermione spoke the words he hadn’t dared hope for.
“Severus Snape, I love you and wish to be your wife. Will you marry me?”
His chin dropped to his chest as he strove for composure.
“Are you certain, Hermione?” Her voice had been so strong, so clear. His was an anguished whisper.
“Yes, I’m more certain of this than anything else in my life. I love you. Do I need to ask again?”
8. “Miss Granger, just for once, could you not have shared your knowledge with all and sundry? I was quite content leading a solitary life.”
“Merlin knows I am sorry you have been put in this situation, Professor. But I stand by my findings. Something does need to be done. As usual, the Ministry of Magic has taken a mere suggestion and turned it into a senseless, draconian law, and I realise now that was to be expected. Idiots, all of them! However, it does not change the fact that the law now exists, and you need to find a wife.”
“What? Volunteering, are you?” he asked sardonically.
Hermione stared at him as his words sunk in. Of course. Not only had she been directly responsible for his invidious position, but she genuinely believed that she, of all people, should take her part in averting the crisis. She had always wanted a career, but she could see now with the extended life span of witches and wizards, childrearing could come first, leaving plenty of time to pursue a career after, if not during, the process.
“You are brilliant!” she exclaimed as she grabbed a piece of parchment and began scribbling. Handing it over to the astonished wizard, she grinned.
“Don’t mock me, Miss Granger,” Snape growled dangerously as he read her petition for his hand in marriage.
“No. I am serious. Why not? I have no other interests, and, quite frankly, the boys my age are so immature. Besides, if it doesn’t work out we can quietly divorce and get on with lives once the law is repealed, as it is sure to be.”
Snape stood suddenly and stalked over, backing her into the wall. “Be careful what you wish for, Miss Granger."
9. She realised with a sense of surprise that Professor Snape was embarrassed. She wondered if he expected her to ask about the Birds and the Bees, and had been preparing a little speech along the lines of…. well, what? She couldn’t imagine Snape explaining reproduction to anyone, although presumably he knew the basics.
Snape and sex did not belong together at all.
“No, Professor Snape. I wanted to see you about something else.” She felt a brief moment of sympathy for the poor sod, as he relaxed: you’re not out of the woods yet, Professor Snape. Best to break it to him gently she thought.
“I have a proposition for you, or rather, more of a proposal.”
She had to give him credit; he worked out what she meant very quickly, and barely flinched at all. She was slightly surprised to see that he was looking at her with a rather worried expression.
“Miss Granger,” he said very carefully. “I must ask you this; you don’t have a crush on me do you? Because this wouldn’t be the first time a … confused … young woman had made her way down here to confess her admiration for me. I hardly expected it from you though. I thought you were more sensible than that.”
She just looked at him in amazement; her blank confusion reassured him that he wasn’t about to be forced to defend his virtue from a crazed teenager. Something about the way she kept looking at him prompted him to add, “There are some female students in this School who do, no matter how bizarre you find the idea, develop some sort of attachment to me.”
Good god, it seemed that sex and Snape did belong together after all.
10. "Marry me."
His mouth dropped open. "What?"
"Marry me," she repeated, enunciating carefully.
He stared as if she'd sprouted horns.
She sighed. "Husband and wife? With this ring? Does any of that sound familiar?"
His mouth closed with an audible snap before he spoke. "I realise that we've been seeing each other for a few months--"
"Not months, Severus, years," she said. "It's been over two years since I first asked you to dinner."
He blinked. "It's been that long?"